I wish I could have said or done more. I wish they could have read my mind and known exactly what I needed.
The reality is this: when we are heavily influenced by the hormones of a physiological labour, we are truely incapable of making decisions and need to be supported by a team that know us and can read into our every need. If we are struggling, they need to give us strength. To know when and where we need touching, holding or pressure applied.
To know how to speak the right encouraging words to get us through. To know how to move with our instinctual sounds, bodily interpretations and movements as we are being guided through our journey.
I have experienced the lack of this in my labour and I know now, looking back on my experience with some sadness and disappointment, that I wish I could have done more.
I wish I could have spoken more and not just agreed to suggestions.
Women, altered by the hormones of birth, need to understand how to surrender to the process, to ourselves and to our birth team.
We are not (and can not) be in control of thinking, deciding or planning in these vulnerable moments.
Rather we need to be guided, supported and nurtured to surrender.
It's time now, in your pregnancy, to prepare your support team so that they understand your emotional needs. Wether it be through a conversation or a birth plan, I encourage you to inform your care providers of everything they need to do to respect your individual needs.
If you're not sure of what you need, it's time to get educated.
Allow your confidence to grow through knowing and learning more about your body's wisdom so that you can start making informed choices.
Staying aligned with your birth team during your pregnancy is so important. Does your birth team believe in your body's ability to birth? Do you feel like they doubt your choices and your beliefs?
It is so important to discuss what you want and to begin birth planning, making everything transparent while you are in a clear state of mind.
Don’t wait.
During labour you will be in a deeply altered state of consciousness, influenced by the hormones of birth and it will be more difficult to clearly state your hopes and needs.
Plan regular discussions to chat about to how your team can help, support and guide you on this journey.
Who are you planning on having at your birth?
If there are additional support people apart from your partner and care provider...
What is their role?
Why are they there?
Do you want them there, or do they just want to be there?
Discussing your birth plan openly with all who will be present will benefit everyone, and define their roles, creating more trust.
I meet a lot of women who choose to go with the flow, but its a whole lot easier to flow with labour and birth if you are informed, educated and emotionally prepared.
I believe that when you have entered this state of being, you can fully surrender.
